Get home at 4 a.m.
Grab all my crap out of my car.
Decide to clean the water bottles and useless paperwork out of my car in an effort to keep the mess from getting out of control.
Walk through my back gate.
Throw away water bottles and useless paperwork.
Walk up to my house.
Have no keys to get into my house.
Go back to my car.
Search through my purse for the key/credit card thing that my mom had AAA make for me for when I lock my keys in my car.
Have used this key so many times that it nearly brakes off the card when I try to unlock the door.
Must try 15 times before door finally unlocks.
Look throughout entire car for lost keys.
Cannot find them.
Want to cry.
But do not have the energy.
Contemplate sleeping in the car.
Realize I threw some stuff away.
Go to the garbage can, which is located in a pitch dark area.
Drag garbage can to small light on the ground.
Awaken every dog and pet bird in a ten mile radius with the dragging of the can.
Lay garbage can down.
Start pulling garbage out.
Spot keys on bottom of garbage can.
Must crawl in very large garbage can to retrieve keys.
Return garbage to can, tip can back up, excite the dogs and bird with my noise.
Trip over an unfortunately placed sprinkler head, and fall down while returning the can to its original location.
Start laughing hysterically, while dusting stale lettuce and dirt off my jacket.