Friday, October 21, 2005

Two Costumes

Have you taken a kid to get a costume lately? Have you as a result realized that Halloween is no longer a holiday in which kids get dressed up in adorable outfits and go trick o’ treating? Did you know that Halloween is now about adults trying to win the “Sluttiest Costume” award at their Halloween party? Seriously. No more cute Annie costumes. Annie’s a slut now. You know how red-heads are.

I took my cousin to get a Halloween costume tonight. She wanted to be a devil. This seemed like it would be an easy enough request. But no. Unless I wanted to introduce the ten year old to street walking (and I ain’t talking door to door) my options were quite limited. They did have quite a variety of devil costumes though; the slutty devil in a skin-tight, full-body plastic number, the slutty devil in a mini skirt, the slutty devil in a ripped dress and of course the slutty half devil/half angel, for the religious folk.

Unable to find a merely mischievous devil and uninterested in any other costume we began piecing together something “devil-y”. As we wandered the aisles she said, “Think red, think red.” Instead I thought to venture over to the more interesting costumes. And there I found my New Favorite Costume:

Thinking I had ditched the kid, I took my camera out and took a picture. As the camera flashed I heard her read, “Blow me.” And then look at me for an explanation on why I thought it was funny. I looked at her, “Tissues. You know, boogers. Funny.” She rolled her eyes, “You’re weird.” I pointed her back towards the devil costumes, “Maybe the slutty devil wouldn’t be so slutty on a short kid, that dress might actually be normal size on you.”

Best role model ever.

Previously I told you about the ceramic goose that had been abducted from my aunt’s porch. Although the goose is no longer, the dream of dressing small things in ridiculous clothes still lives on in the heart of my family. How convenient that the goose’s clothes fit the dog perfectly. Unfortunately the goose didn’t have a devil costume either (slutty or otherwise), so the dog is going trick or treating in another festive outfit.

Happy Easter everyone.

1 comment:

Bob said...

It is all about the candy. Seriously, who is going to give candy to the real Annie or for that matter, someone dressed with any type of full bodied costume? I once went to a Halloween Pimp-N-Ho party where of course, all the women didn't finnish dressing at all and all the guys had to do was put on a little bling. I didn't dress the part either, but sure got to hang out with a bunch of slutty girls that night. That was the 6th best night of my life. I heart Halloween.