Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Best Idea Ever

Karma, as it turns out, is waiting for me in 2006. Remember a few weeks ago when I was bitching about how cold it is here? In California? Where it’s like 60 degrees outside? Yeah. So I’m going to both Washington DC and New York in January. We will now open the betting as to where and when I officially freeze to death. I’m thinking it might be outside the DC airport. Or maybe even inside it. As I’m waiting for my luggage an automatic door might open, allowing a gust of wind to blow through and freeze me right on the spot. I’ll be the very large icicle going around and around with the luggage. Someone please put me in a cab and point me towards the nearest hotel with a sauna.

I am going to DC to participate in a leadership training seminar with Habitat for Humanity. You know, cause I’m trying my best to save the world and all. But the thing is, there are training seminars all over the country. Why I chose DC in the middle of friggin’ winter is completely beyond my comprehension at this point in time. I think that I am in denial of how not cold it is in California. I don’t quite grasp that the rest of the country is not 70 degrees on Christmas Eve. And I certainly cannot compute temperatures below 50 degrees. That’s madness. How has the federal government not done something about all of this? How are we supposed to fight terror if we can’t feel our noses? I mean really.

So I was talking to my friend today, who is also a California native. He is going to meet me in New York when I go up there to visit another friend. I told him that we are going to go see as much theater as humanly possible, but that theater can be a bit expensive in New York. He said, "Do they have heaters in the theater?" I said yes. He said, "I’ll pay whatever price they are asking if I can sit in a warm theater for 2 hours, the performers will just be an added bonus." We will be the two with the down comforter over our laps in a Broadway theater. Don't judge.

In fact, nevermind about looking for me frozen by the luggage. I won’t need to pack, I’m just going to wear layers of every piece of clothing I own. And one ski mask I’ve yet to buy. Sure, I won’t be able to walk normally and I will look alarmingly ready to rob a 7-11, but at least I’ll be warm.

Why the hell can’t leaders be trained in Hawaii?


Chunks said...

Well, like that old saying goes, "Cold things happen to good people." Oh wait...

What shows are you going to take in? Of course, we will expect a full report upon your return. I imagine it will be a fanciful tale of suffering and joy. heehee!

Talva said...

Look on the bright side
I will be in Hawaii... :)No I'll be here in LA sending you warm thoughts. Enjoy NYC it is great at any temperature

Patricia said...

it ain't a good time til ya feel your nostrils freeze right up. after all, it distracts you from your numb toes and blue fingers.

good times, i tell ya!

i simply love that you are coming east.