Friday, December 23, 2005

Fa la la friggin' la

It's two days before Christmas and I finally went to Target to do some shopping. That's the good news. The bad news is that I have decided to add "personal" touches to all my gifts. Which is why I'm still up at 3 a.m. and still not really that much closer to having anything actually wrapped. BUT I do have bags upon bags of crap covering my floor. We won't go into the specifics of how many of those bags are for me and how many are gifts. Because that is not what is important right now. What is important right now is that I need to start scaling down the number of people in my life. Because this whole "personal" gift thing really makes your realize that you should really be "personal" with far fewer people.

I know, I know. I'm just bursting with holiday joy. It's actually quite hard to contain it.

More good news: in a mere four days my light rock stations will once again move regular cheesy ass songs back into rotation - replacing the 20 cheesy ass Christmas songs they have been playing since March sometime. God bless us everyone.

I need to go to bed now, I have to rest up for three solid days of eating that lie before me. A girl needs her energy for such things. It will most likely be after the holiday the next time I blog, so I do wish you all a great Whatever The Hell You Happen To Celebrate. I could write a heartfelt wish of good cheer and comfort and joy to all of you.

But that's not really my style.

So instead, in the spirit of my light rock stations, I will replay this holiday standard for you, cause there is a good possibility that you just recently stopped twitching from watching it the first time.

Feliz ChrisKwanziKah everyone.


Okay, here we go, here is the Holiday song to end all Holiday songs. If you can't hear it, well, consider yourself very very lucky. For additional entertainment I've included the Behind the Scenes outtakes as well (scroll down for that video). They show you a brief glimpse into the genius that is my creative process.

Oh and as always, I recommend pushing play then pushing pause and letting it load all the way before trying to watch it.

And you don't even have to wait for the DVD to see the outtakes.

Here are the words, so you can sing along at home:

I do ChrisKwanzikah, cause I wantika
Get lots of presents for me!
There’s Christmas and Hanukkah
Why not make it three?
So they made up, Merry Kwanzaa
For seven more days of fun
So get closer, gather round now
The fun has just begun!

Ba ba ba ba

But your yamikah on,
It’ll be so much fun
As we gather around the tree
Opening presents wrapped
In red or blue
And sing a little R&B

We’ll deck the hall
And eat Maza balls
And do a soul train in the snow
Three sistas throw a dradle at Claus
Sayin’ “Who you callin’ Ho Ho Ho?”

Ba ba ba ba

I do ChrisKwanzikah, cause I wantika
Hang bagels on my tree!
I love my stockings and my yamika
But it’s all about the bling bling.
So we made up, Merry Kwanzaa
Cause you know how we roll
So come out now, bring the reindeer
To our barmitzvah in the snow!

Ba ba ba ba

Black or Jew, Christian or you
You all have a place on our sleigh
Oprah’s drivin’, Diddy’s rhyming
Santa’s sayin’ “Oy Vey!”

Ba ba ba ba

I do ChrisKwanzikah, cause I wantika
Eat soul food with my lox
Light my menorah, drink my eggnog
And turn up the boombox.
And wish you happy holidays
And peace for you and me.
From your preacher
And your rabbi
And the NAACP!

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