My Tivo is Confused

I think I’ve figured out what is wrong with my Tivo. It seems to be under the impression that I am Black. Maybe it’s because I celebrate Kwanzaa. Who knows. But all I know for sure is that every time I come into the room Tivo is watching an African American show. Good Times, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, The Jamie Foxx Show, The Cosby Show, Sanford and Sons, Eminem. You know, all the stereotypical “Black” shows.

I was so confused by this. I didn’t know why my Tivo thought I was Black, other than perhaps it had heard my mad rapping skillz and knew I had the flava. As likely as THAT seemed I thought maybe the Tivo was making its assumptions based on something a little more technical. (Not that my rap skillz aren’t technically magnificent as well as lyrically stunning.) Then I realized that I Tivo Oprah everyday. And therefore Tivo thinks I’m Black. And therefore it thinks that I must like any show with a Black person in it. Cause that’s how it works, right?

First of all, how misguided is Tivo to think that an Oprah viewer is just clamoring to watch Fresh Prince of Bel Air? Unless it’s a “Very Special Episode” Oprah viewers are not going to bother pulling themselves away from Lifetime Movie Channel long enough to listen to “In West Philadelphia, born and raised, and a playground where I spent most of my days...”. And isn’t it kinda funny that my Tivo never tapes cheesy Lifetime movies? That the only thing daily Oprah taping sets off in its computer brain is “Likes Black People”. For a machine that can ask my wall what is on TV Tivo seems to be a little behind the times.



“...when a couple of guys, who were up to no good, started making trouble in my neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, said you’re moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air.”