Friday, December 16, 2005

My Tivo is Confused

I think I’ve figured out what is wrong with my Tivo. It seems to be under the impression that I am Black. Maybe it’s because I celebrate Kwanzaa. Who knows. But all I know for sure is that every time I come into the room Tivo is watching an African American show. Good Times, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, The Jamie Foxx Show, The Cosby Show, Sanford and Sons, Eminem. You know, all the stereotypical “Black” shows.

I was so confused by this. I didn’t know why my Tivo thought I was Black, other than perhaps it had heard my mad rapping skillz and knew I had the flava. As likely as THAT seemed I thought maybe the Tivo was making its assumptions based on something a little more technical. (Not that my rap skillz aren’t technically magnificent as well as lyrically stunning.) Then I realized that I Tivo Oprah everyday. And therefore Tivo thinks I’m Black. And therefore it thinks that I must like any show with a Black person in it. Cause that’s how it works, right?

First of all, how misguided is Tivo to think that an Oprah viewer is just clamoring to watch Fresh Prince of Bel Air? Unless it’s a “Very Special Episode” Oprah viewers are not going to bother pulling themselves away from Lifetime Movie Channel long enough to listen to “In West Philadelphia, born and raised, and a playground where I spent most of my days...”. And isn’t it kinda funny that my Tivo never tapes cheesy Lifetime movies? That the only thing daily Oprah taping sets off in its computer brain is “Likes Black People”. For a machine that can ask my wall what is on TV Tivo seems to be a little behind the times.

“...when a couple of guys, who were up to no good, started making trouble in my neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, said you’re moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air.”


bostonpaul said...

i dont have a tv so do not fully comprehend tivo, but that being said, i was under the impression that fat middle aged women were the target oprah audience..i assumed that black women, on their ever uphill struggle to emancipation would see right through the uncle tom bullshit of an aging pathetic icon like oprah...although i could be wrong

Patricia said...

tivo needs its horizons expanded.
i suppose, based on that sentence, tivo would think i'm interested in the geography channel, the weather channel, and perhaps weightloss programs. wow, now that i think about it, tivo must be psychic!

oh, and gosh, paul, you sound fun!

Anonymous said...

I agree with Patricia. Paul is a REAL downer. BL

dawn said...

I think Paul could use a group hug.

Chunks said...

I think Paul needs to get a tv to watch a sitcom or two!

We don't have tivo here, is it even available in Canada? Anyway, we have a new tv that we can't seem to make anything work with though (DVD, VCR, LMNOP) so I can totally relate to your issues! It makes you crazy when you spend two hours recording the last episode of survivor for your kid and then she plugs it in and sees nothing but snow! Damn technology!