Thursday, December 29, 2005

*&%##$ Password

I have officially killed my computer in hopes of it rising from the ashes to live again. And can I just tell you that killing a computer is not the easiest thing to do? I guess there are many good reasons for that. After hour number two spent trying to put it out of its (and my) misery I had yet to figure out what those reasons may be.

The computer comes with some discs that are meant to be used when all hell breaks loose and your computer is no longer able to uh, compute. I threw one of the discs in and waited for the computer to heal itself. Instead it asked me for a password. What? Password? Right. So I don’t know the password, because I’ve had the friggin’ thing for three years and I barely remember what I had for lunch yesterday, let alone a password from 2002. Thanks though. So I spend the better part of an hour trying to remember what the password could possibly be, entering every password I’ve ever had in my entire life, names of childhood dogs, streets I grew up on, mother’s maiden name, and of course “password”. Cause you really just never know. None of these passwords worked and so I was left with only one logical solution: I went online and started looking up how much it would cost to just buy another computer. That is how over this computer I am. I just don’t know if my heart can take one more malfunction from this damn thing.

But before spending $900 on a new computer I thought maybe I should at least try calling the tech guy. The tech guy told me that he couldn’t help me with any password related issues, because there was no way for him to know if I had stolen the computer. (God how I wish someone would steal the computer.) He said that he would gladly transfer me to a “sister department” that might be able to help me for the reasonable price of $2.95 a minute. As much fun as paying $2.95 a minute for something that wasn’t porn sounded I said no to being transferred. Then I said, “Is there any way to set up your computer without using a password?” He said, “Yes.” I said, “What would I enter where it says “password” if I don’t have a password?” He said, “Just push enter, don’t type anything.” I pushed enter. The thing finally worked. I said, “Wow that was a good use of an hour of my life.” Cause even though I didn’t have a password the computer asked me for one over and over and over and over and over and over again. Those last 5 years it took off my life probably weren’t going to be that great anyway.

After all that work, all that suffering, all that cussing I have managed to VIOLA! return my computer to the way it was when I first took it out of the box. AKA: Pretty much useless. My once thriving desktop is now vacant, with only two lonely little icons, neither of them things I would ever use. The rest of the computer is empty, all of its files and programs erased as if they never existed. It’s all very sad. (Seriously, I’ll leave my door unlocked if you want to come steal the computer.)

In other news I’ve made my first New Years Resolution: I'm going to try to fit about 12 or 132 more wires under my desk. Really. Cause I just don’t have enough under there. As I was trying to disconnect the 5 USB devices from my computer I managed to get caught in the web of wires and in an effort to free myself I accidently pulled a wire that was attached to my laptop that was on the desk above me. Well, technically after I pulled the wire it was no longer on the desk above me. At that point it was on my head. So if you know of any possible way for me to get more wires under my desk I would love to hear them, as I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to create an awesome electrical surge that takes out the entire work area of my house.

I might need more than a password to fix that.


Chunks said...

There seems to be no worse stress than computer stress!! Frigging things are supposed to make life easier...whatever?!!

I hope your desktop is soon filled with lovely little icons and functions at a better rate of success now that you've wiped it clean. Damn things! I feel your pain.

Anonymous said...

An hour you will never get back. How much does that suck?

Patricia said...

omg you are my hero in the world of techno-gibberish!

"enter" where there is no password. that sounds too mysterious and clever for words!