Thursday, August 17, 2006

Random Thoughts

I have moved into the middle of Retail Heaven. Or Bank Balance Hell, as some may call it. Good lord, this could end poorly. Pun totally intended.

There are shops EVERYWHERE around me. Everything you could ever want to buy is all within like a block of me. This is no good. Because a lot of times you don’t know you want to buy something until you see it and then you think, “Man I want that.” And then the next thing you know you are hauling 4 bags of crap up your stairs for the third time in one week. And by “you” I totally don’t mean “me” at all. Holy no money left for the mortgage Batman.

Speaking of the new home. My mother helped me unpack and she made the house a home by putting the most important thing in the middle of the dining room table:

A house just ain’t a home until the Shit Bitch Bear is out. Please notice the Dell battery behind the Shit Bitch Bear. My mother called me in a panic the other day because apparently that battery was set to explode at any given moment. I removed the battery just in time, I barely survived. Have you seen this on the news? Where the laptops just explode into flames because of some faulty batteries? Very dramatic. And scary.

The other day when my fire alarms were going off repeatedly and I thought there was a possibility that the ceiling water sprinklers may go off the first thing I did was grab my laptop and run it down to my car in the garage. Once it was safe I actually investigated whether something might be on fire. Honestly it was a toss-up between the big screen TV and the laptop as far as who to save in case of an emergency. But see, if I lose the laptop I lose my source of revenue, and that would be bad. Cause then I couldn’t pay for cable and the TV would be useless.

This blog is all over the place already so here is a picture I took when I finally went to the grocery store the other night:

Is this a hybrid fruit? Between a Plum and an Apricot? A plumcot? I don’t go to the produce section much (ever), so I’m sure this fruit has been around a long time, but it was the first time I’ve seen it. Please tell me what this fruit is all about. I am intrigued.

And to send you off to the weekend, we have one last picture:

He’s all ready for the beach. Although by the look of his glasses he might have already been out on the beach (with a few drinks) for awhile. And by the look of the bow on his head it might be time for him to come in from out of the sun now. He’s starting to have gender issues again.


Tigerpants said...

I'm a little freaked out by the dog with clothes. Especially since it's not an alive dog.

tornwordo said...

I love the shit bitch bear. I wonder what that fruit tastes like. The only fruit worth buying is a banana. Easy to peel, not messy to eat.

Patricia said...

why, it's your typical cross between a plum and an apricot, of course. why? because someone can. some places even call them dinosaur eggs. i have no idea why. i've had them before, i seem to remember they're a little sweeter and more dense that a regular plum. i'm not a fan of these hybrids. things like broccoflower kinda creep me out. it's not natural.

a lot like the ceramic dog. be we love him so.

Chunks said...

I still would love a calendar of ceramic dogs pics. Maybe I could get you to email me the pics and I could Martha Stewart up a few of them. We could make it a fundraiser. So you could go shopping in your neighborhood.

They hybrid everything now! Have you seen the shoes that look like moccasins crossed with a pump? I call them moccapumps. I should take my camera to the store and take pictures, since this whole story is useless without them.

Anonymous said...

How do you know that pooch is a "he"? Yes, . . . plums and apricots. They are actually pretty good. "Tigerpants" must be new--this dog has been around awhile.--mom

teri said...

pluots are yummy! Try it Dawn! Wait until they go on sale though!