Thursday, August 31, 2006


There are things happening here. And some things that aren’t happening. I will share both.

First what is not happening. My DSL is not happening. The power went out last night for about 1 millisecond and somehow managed to muck up the DSL. This isn’t a terrible thing because I am stealing DSL from some unknown nearby source. I enjoy wireless. But the signal I am stealing is moody at best and I need my DSL to be reliable. I’m falling behind on my blog reading, which is just unacceptable - I can’t miss a day of Go Fug Yourself, it’s not healthy. Also pretty much all of my work relies on e-mailing huge ass files back and forth for pretty-fying, but this is insignificant in comparison to my blogs.

And even though all of my life is dependent on DSL I can’t bring myself to call the AT&T helpline. I just can’t. Not yet. I have to mentally prepare myself for it. I swear every call to their helpline takes at least 10 years off my life. Maybe 15. Not to mention the irreversible damage it must be doing to my vocal cords. Cause I tend to scream a little every time I call.

AT&T has the single most annoying automated phone thing. It’s one of those voice activated ones that is “sorry” when she doesn’t “get” what you said. The fact that she sounds genuinely sorry just makes me more pissed off. LET ME TALK TO A HUMAN FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST. After 10 minutes of going around in circles with Automated Annie I inevitably end up screaming, “OPERATOR! OPERATOR! OPERATOR! OPERATOR! #@!$#$&@#$%q@#$!$%#$%@#$%#$!!!” She usually says, “Hmmm, I didn’t get that, let’s try again.” She never understands my cursing. Bitch.

So I have to call. But when do I call? Do I call during the day, when there is a longer wait time, or do I call at night when the wait time is shorter, but I am talking to someone in Bangladesh whose lack of speaking abilities does not combine well with my lack of hearing abilities. I don’t know. All I know is that I can only steal internet in my dining room, it doesn’t come in anywhere else. I think the wireless if feeding off the unique combination of chips and salsa, cookies, books and the Shit Bitch Bear I have on the dining room table.

Another interesting thing that is happening - I’m waking up in the morning. I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed, but I tend to have kinda weird hours. Very rarely do those hours involve daylight AM hours. But ever since I moved into this new place I’ve been waking up earlier and tackling the day. Well, I’ve been at least tapping the day on the shoulder.

My new early rise times come as a result of my bright ass bedroom. You know when you are camping and you wake up early because the damn sun is blaring in on your tent? My room is kinda like that. Except without smores and raccoons. I am deaf as all else when I sleep, so noise never wakes me up, but I’m very sensitive to light and even someone turning on a hall light will wake me up. So when the damn sun has come streaming in my bedroom these past few weeks I simply wake up and for some odd reason am ready to rise. I dunno. I wonder if it will stick. If this house can change my hatred of mornings it might just be worth the mortgage payment...

Of course as you can see, I’m not exactly going to bed any earlier. So who knows what this is all going add up to. Me thinks it’s adding up to less sleep for me. And me thinks that is unacceptable. Less sleep? “Hmmm. I didn’t get that, let’s try again.”


Patricia said...

uhmmm.. how 'bout some shades? or curtains? or both? they do a remarkable job of keeping the sunlight outside and allowing one to burrow in the darkness until noon, if need be.

that way dawn never needs to see dawn if she doesn't want to.

sorry. i'm a morning person and i just can't help it.

Chunks said...

I hate the automated phone thing too, but I really hate the outsourced non-English-woman-hating ones worse!

Get some acrylic craft paint and paint your bedroom window. Or go all hillbilly and just put up some tinfoil. You can't go for too long without sleep. You will start to do even-crazier-shit than you do now! Rest well!

teri said...

Don't know if this will work, but I read if you say "sales" it will direct connect you. Or the other thing was to keep pressing 0. I dealt with AT&T way too much at work and spent NUMEROUS hours on hold and frustrated. That is one reason i quit!

tornwordo said...

I had that issue once. I bought strips of velcro and an opaque piece of vinyl and sealed the window at night. It was pretty.

Unhearted said...

I unheart automated voice anything.