Monday, May 09, 2005


I saw the movie Crash this weekend. I was going to see another movie, but there were none out this weekend. That’s because every actor in Hollywood was in Crash, leaving them unavailable for any other roles in any other movies that might have been released this weekend.

The movie is an honest, intense, haunting look at race relations in L.A. I’m thinking that movies like this don’t present themselves very often, that’s why the entire population of Hollywood showed up to take part in it. Either that or they all really wanted to be part of the inevitable Crash Drinking Game that is bound to become a hit when this movie is released on DVD. The rules of the game are you have to drink every time an actor you recognize comes on the screen for the first time. It’s a great game. The downside of the game is that you are in the emergency room with alcohol poisoning by the second act.

Seriously, there were an obscene amount of notable actors in this movie. The cast includes Don Cheadle, Brenden Fraser, Sandra Bullock, Reese Witherspoon’s Husband, Ludacris, Thandie Newton, The Guy That Plays Thadie Newton’s Husband That You’d Totally Recognize If You Saw Him, and Matt Dillon. And that’s not even a third of the actors. You know how many actors are in this movie? So many that Tony Danza actually got a part. When Tony friggin’ Danza is getting parts in major motion pictures you know that every other known (and unknown) actor must already be in the movie. (And you know that Alan Thicke must have been unavailable.) You know who else I saw? That Asian guy from LOST. I think that guy is trying to see how many things he can be in without ever actually uttering an English word. He was in one scene and the camera just basically panned right past him. That man has got to get a better agent. He’s on a hit TV show and Tony Danza is getting better roles than him.

My favorite part of the movie was when, despite her efforts to be a Serious Actor, Sandra Bullock was still able to fit her Contractually Agreed Upon Pratfall into the film. Sandra Bullock has to slip and fall in every movie she’s ever in, and I’m glad the writers of this movie were able to write around that requirement. They made it look like she just tripped. But I think we all know that she was really about 8 martinis deep after playing the Crash Drinking Game.


Dean said...

I am glad you spent the money on "Crash".
If you looked close in the background, around midway through the film, you will see me too!
Your watching the movie gave me .00000001 royalities.
Thank you so much for supporting my delusions!

Curious George said...

I am glad you watched "Crash" too. Did it open with the Dave Matthews song "Crash"? Is it a remake of the other movie starring lots of actors, (James Spader, Holly Hunter) who like to have sex in crashed vehicles? I think I might go see it, provided I don't get into an accident on the way there. How ironic would that be? Alanis Morissette would love it if that happened to me because it's just like her song.