Wednesday, May 04, 2005


I have vertigo. I’ve been spinning for the past week and wondered why. I called the advice nurse the day it started, thinking that maybe spinning and ringing in my head might be a bad thing. I tried to explain it to her:

"My brain feels weird."
"How so?"
"Well, you know when you are on a roller coaster or maybe in a car and you get whiplash?"
"Whiplash is in your neck, not your brain."
"I know, but you know how fast your head has to move in order to get the whiplash?"
"And you know how your head rings and feels when it moves that fast?"
"Well, my head is ringing and feeling like that when I slightly move it. It feels like my brain is moving around in my head. Does that sound like a symptom of anything?"
Stifled laugh, ""
"Do you want to come see a doctor?"
"Not really, I don't have the time. I was just wondering if that sent up any red flags for you. I didn't know if the whole ringing/brain moving thing was a symptom of anything."
"You know what I've learned in my long life?"
Besides excellent costumer service?
"I've learned that I get a lot of symptoms of a lot of things but most of them just go away."
Or you just die.
"Why don't you give us a call in a week or so if the symptoms don't go away."
Or I die. "Okay."
"Is there anything else I can help you with?"
I cannot imagine you being more helpful.

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