Please explain the scary Burger King Guy with the plastic head. Please. I’m thinking this is an attempt to create a fun little character to identify with the company. Like Ronald McDonald, or maybe more like Jack of Jack in the Box. But this King Guy is not fun. Jack of Jack in the Box is round and has a red smile and I don’t know, he has a fun little voice over that calms me. Maybe that’s the difference, the voice over. Scary King Guy just stares at people, occasionally offering them a selection from the value menu – WHILE IN THEIR BED. He seriously freaks me out. Oh my god, what if they turn him into an antenna ball like Jack? Oh no.
Can someone, anyone, please call Quizno’s and tell them that their ad agency is high? Awhile ago they had these two deranged puppets on their commercials that looked like the brain child of Marilyn Manson and some sort of epileptic puppet artist. Thank the lord those two freak shows were pulled off the air. But what do they replace them with? Baby Bob. Have you seen this Baby? He’s trying to be like the Look Whose Talking baby. Only that movie was like 15 years ago and the baby in that movie didn’t sound like patron at a strip bar. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if this freaky baby got some other side TV work. On The Sopranos.
And this one is a cry out to all the drug companies. Please. Please. Please stop. I do not need to see an animated toe fungus lift up and animated toenail and have mosh pit with his fungi brothers under the nail. I also do not need to hear the word “erectile” EVER while watching Gilmore Girls – let alone three times. And I do not need to see an older couple in separate bathtubs reaching out to each other while on a cliff overlooking the sunset – who the hell has bathtubs on a cliff? (And to be on the safe side a man probably shouldn’t be near a cliff after taking his medication. His balance change may cause an unfortunate accident) Also do not market a menopause pill to women and then say, “If you have a uterus, this pill may cause uterine cancer.” Uh, a lot of women have those uteruses. And a lot of women might prefer hot flashes over cancer. Thank you. Also, please stop with the writing on peoples’ stomachs. I’d be okay if I never saw the word “constipation” in print across someone’s stomach. Although I must commend these constipated people on their tremendous abs. If there were a pill for those abs I’d take it in a second. To hell with my uterus.