No Bueno

Hello people. First, let me commend you on you excellent job in the comment area as of late. You have been posting top notch, entertaining and funny comments. I encourage comments from all of my readers, even if they aren’t top notch, entertaining or funny. In fact, I’d prefer they not be, because some of the comments are far exceeding my writing abilities and my fragile pride simply cannot take it. In the future, if your comment is too funny I will have Blogger instantly delete it. Some people erase offensive comments from their blogs - I say offend away, just don’t be funnier than me. Oh and don’t be offensively funny either.

Now that we’ve protected me from a world in which there are people funnier than me (aka: reality) let’s move on to some very important news in the world where I’m the funniest person (in reality, where you all reside, this in not so much news as it is a sentence with some words and a period.) I started working on a movie today.

It’s an independent horror movie that is shooting right here in Sactown (Sacramento, for those of you who don’t think every person, place or thing in this world should have a catchy nickname). I am assisting the director of the film and I’ve been instructed not to give away any details of the movie. But I’m a rebel, so I’ll tell you the whole thing:

Pretty People
Reeek Reeek Reeek
Scary man with an ax
Dead Pretty People
The End
Credits
Credits
More Credits
The Person in Charge of Making 10 Axes’ Credit
My Credit

So anyways, I’m working on a movie, I’m a mover and a shaker, I’m way too cool for pretty much everyone. Oh, and I’m friggin tired. Yeah, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but most of these blogs are posted in the early morning, or in some cases even later morning. This is because I’m a bit of a night owl. My work allows me to work when I want. And I very rarely want before noon. So I end up staying up all hours of the night. But it’s not like I’m up all night partying or anything. (Unless you consider blogging “partying”. In which case please leave me off your next party invite list.) It’s just that I function better when the only a.m. hours I see are the dark ones. And believe me, the a.m. hours function better without me too.

So yeah, this morning I had to be on set at 6:30. 6:30. In the morning. No bueno.

This morning I made a vow. Someday when I make my own movies they are going to be all set at night. I’ll be known as a very “dark” artist, it will be my calling card, so to speak. I will be a dark and mysterious and cutting edge artist. AND I’ll be well rested. And the way I sleep is truly a thing of art. So it will all work out great.