Monday, May 23, 2005

No Bueno

Hello people. First, let me commend you on you excellent job in the comment area as of late. You have been posting top notch, entertaining and funny comments. I encourage comments from all of my readers, even if they aren’t top notch, entertaining or funny. In fact, I’d prefer they not be, because some of the comments are far exceeding my writing abilities and my fragile pride simply cannot take it. In the future, if your comment is too funny I will have Blogger instantly delete it. Some people erase offensive comments from their blogs - I say offend away, just don’t be funnier than me. Oh and don’t be offensively funny either.

Now that we’ve protected me from a world in which there are people funnier than me (aka: reality) let’s move on to some very important news in the world where I’m the funniest person (in reality, where you all reside, this in not so much news as it is a sentence with some words and a period.) I started working on a movie today.

It’s an independent horror movie that is shooting right here in Sactown (Sacramento, for those of you who don’t think every person, place or thing in this world should have a catchy nickname). I am assisting the director of the film and I’ve been instructed not to give away any details of the movie. But I’m a rebel, so I’ll tell you the whole thing:

Pretty People
Reeek Reeek Reeek
Scary man with an ax
Dead Pretty People
The End
Credits
Credits
More Credits
The Person in Charge of Making 10 Axes’ Credit
My Credit

So anyways, I’m working on a movie, I’m a mover and a shaker, I’m way too cool for pretty much everyone. Oh, and I’m friggin tired. Yeah, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but most of these blogs are posted in the early morning, or in some cases even later morning. This is because I’m a bit of a night owl. My work allows me to work when I want. And I very rarely want before noon. So I end up staying up all hours of the night. But it’s not like I’m up all night partying or anything. (Unless you consider blogging “partying”. In which case please leave me off your next party invite list.) It’s just that I function better when the only a.m. hours I see are the dark ones. And believe me, the a.m. hours function better without me too.

So yeah, this morning I had to be on set at 6:30. 6:30. In the morning. No bueno.

This morning I made a vow. Someday when I make my own movies they are going to be all set at night. I’ll be known as a very “dark” artist, it will be my calling card, so to speak. I will be a dark and mysterious and cutting edge artist. AND I’ll be well rested. And the way I sleep is truly a thing of art. So it will all work out great.

4 comments:

Dean said...

It is 12:12AM. I noticed you to be a night owl and decided to try and sample your work close to it's inception. Consider it a way for me to compare how funny you are in the middle of the night vs. during the day.

Also I have refrained myself from being funny...just in case I accidently get to funny and find myself blog kicked.

Any hoot...keep up the good work! Love your stuff and hope that the princess of darkness doesn't go "poof" in the daylight.

Alfred Hitchock said...

It looks like all the things you've always wanted to happen are finally happenning for you...work whenever you want, be an important person on a movie set, have an endless supply of foods that you can snack on all day (and put some in your purse for the drive home), meeting movie stars and famous people, having people read and respond to your rambling bloggings. The only thing that hasn't happened is Scott Wolf showing up on the set and asking you to be his new bride. So here you are complaining about getting up at 6:30. Criminey, is nothing ever good enough for you...what, would you rather be doing accounting again and cutting checks? Isn't it ironic that your name is dawn, yet that is the one time of the day you despise? I find that highly entertaining.

I hope you have a fantastic time and, who knows, maybe, based on your previous experience as a woman-being-dragged-and-
tossed-down-a-hallway, they will
hire you to be a ReekReekReek victim and you'll get TWO credits. Hey you always said you wanted to improve your credit. I'm just saying...

RO said...

Movies are hard.
sit/eat/sleep/cellphone
U R a trooper.

Dean said...

Alfred Hitchcock wrote:

"Isn't it ironic that your name is dawn, yet that is the one time of the day you despise?"

LMOA! It never dawned on me...wait, dawned? Ahahaha...