Wednesday, July 06, 2005

The Big Night

I think tonight is the big finale of Dancing with the Stars. Or maybe it was last night. I don’t know. I’m taping it, whenever it is. Because I’m addicted to this show. It’s quite ridiculous how much I enjoy it. But I’ve dealt with my dorkness and moved on.

It’s down to two couples: The older guy from Seinfield and some young chick from a soap opera. I really hope the old guy wins. He’s adorable. And he looks like he’s in pain about 95% of the time.

I’m not really sure why the chick from the soap opera is still on the show. I’m thinking it has quite a bit to do with her hotness – cause she can’t really dance. I think the home viewers are more interested in her body than if she can actually move it to any sort of beat. One week the strap on her shirt broke and she just about flashed the entire country. You could almost hear the collective gasp arise throughout the red states. It was at that point that she became a shoe-in for the finals. The blue states started voting for her like crazy in hopes that she would shimmy herself out of another shirt. Yes, Rachel Hunter could dance and was quite bendy, but her outfits always seemed to stay on. So she had to go.

And by the way, what are they competing for exactly? I know the announcer says, “They have everything to dance for.” But I’m wondering what “everything” is. I think they’re in a kind of catch-22. All of these “stars” are hard up enough for work that they actually subjected themselves to the cha cha for like two months. So they probably need to win some money. But they are on a show that is calling them “stars” and whenever you are considered a “star” on a reality show you have to donate all of your money to charity. I think that’s in the IRS rulebook somewhere.

So I’ll tune in to see if the young chick loses her clothes, if the old guy finally has a heart attack (as a result of dancing and/or the before mentioned loss of clothes) and what the hell they win. Oh! And I can’t wait to see who tries to do the lift (ala Johnny and Baby) for their big finale. That too could be followed by loss of clothes and a heart attack.

God, isn’t reality TV exciting?


John O' Herlihy said...

I think you need another movie to work on. Fast. TV is causing serious damage.

Rachel Hunter said...

Gee Dawn, that's an odd observation. When I was married to Rod Stewart, I wasn't bendy at all and yet my clothes never stayed on for very long. (Uhm...Do you have Patrick Swayze's phone number?)

IRS Agent Jankins said...

Actually all funds from all celebrities are supposed to go to charities since the celebrities will wind up spending it on booze drugs and other extracarricular distractions. From there, they will go into rehab facilities funded by the charities that they contributed to when they donated all of their earnings doing a charity function. So, in essence, they can think of it as an investment.