Friday, July 08, 2005

Marco! …

Tonight I went to see a sport that is sure to begin sweeping the nation as soon as this blog is read.

It is called Inner Tube Water Polo. And it is exactly what it sounds like. It’s water polo. On inner tubes.

Have you ever seen water polo played? It looks absolutely exhausting. You have to tread water for hours while someone tries to pull off your speedo. I think that’s the basic jist of the sport. From what I’ve seen on TV. There is also a ball involved, but basically these guys just try to drown each other without anyone noticing it.

Because most parents hesitate to sign their kids up for recreational experiences that may result in drowning the sport had to go through a bit of a makeover to attract young kids. And that’s where the inner tubes come in.

“Hey little Johnny, wanna exert a great deal of energy by treading water and swimming while playing water polo?” “Uh, not really.” “Oh, well do you want to play a sport where you can float in the water and splash people for an hour?” “That sounds GREAT! Where do I sign up?”

And so began Inner Tube Water Polo.

The sport goes a little something like this:

A bunch of kids sit on inner tubes and splash around after a ball.
There is no strategy, there are no plays, there is no real logic to the game at all.
There is a ball and it is thrown around in no particular direction, with no particular interest in getting it in any sort of goal.
The game lasts for an hour.
About 10 minutes into the game about half of the players have stopped going for the ball and are just trying to tip each other’s inner tubes over.
About 20 minutes into the game they have stopped tipping and are just chatting amongst themselves.
Occasionally the ball accidentally lands near or off the head of one of these uninvolved kids.
At that point he/she picks up the ball and throws it to the closest person, whether that person be on their team, on the other team, or merely a spectator who happens to be walking by.
The game finally ends, no one has any idea what the score is and the children who are off to the side talking have to be alerted that it is time to get out of the pool.

Only in America is this considered a sport:

3 comments:

Blog poloist said...

i still doesn't beat curling as a sport. I seriously think tv watching will be our next Olympic event, and you have been training for years. either that or driving in LA traffic, which I am primed and ready for.

It's nice to know the activities you are seeing live are just as insipid as the reality shows and programming in general on tv.

Have a great morning, or night depending on how you gaze upon it.

Blog poloist said...

It still doesn't beat curling as a sport. I seriously think tv watching will be our next Olympic event, and you have been training for years. either that or driving in LA traffic, which I am primed and ready for.

It's nice to know the activities you are seeing live are just as insipid as the reality shows and programming in general on tv.

Have a great morning, or night depending on how you gaze upon it.

Kevin said...

Sounds fun