Went to the post office to mail a package to a girl who worked on the movie.
Was quite impressed with myself, because I’m usually not too prompt to send things out.
Still have my friend’s Christmas present sitting on my bedroom floor.
Thinking of just saving it until next Christmas.
On my way home from lunch I see the post office, think of turning over a new leaf, decide to send the package, even though it’s been sitting in my car for less than six months.
Can’t find parking.
But don’t give up, for new leaves are not always easy to turn over.
Find parking a couple of blocks away.
It’s approximately 167 degrees outside.
Walk the two blocks.
Think I may die.
Get up to the post office, must go through security checkpoint, as apparently terrorists are now plotting to hijack post offices.
Put all my stuff in the little security bin to be passed through x-ray thingy.
Am asked if I have a cell phone.
Tell truth and show security lady my cell phone.
Am told I have to take my cell phone back to my car because it has a camera on it.
As apparently terrorists are taking pictures of the post offices before they hijack them.
Am not walking back to my car, as it is 167 degrees outside.
Walk down the hallway a bit, hide phone behind a missing persons poster.
Security lady says no, that won’t do, it must go back to your car.
As cell phones can apparently take pictures even when left unattended behind posters.
Walk out the door, put the cell phone in a bush outside the door, as I am not walking back to the car.
Re-enter and put my purse through the x-ray thingy.
Security lady says nothing about the small digital camera I have in my purse.
As terrorists apparently only use low resolution pictures when scoping out hijacking possibilities.
Get in very long line.
Wait very long time.
Get towards front of line, decide to fish the address out of the box.
Cannot find the piece of paper with the address on it.
Begin totally emptying the box.
Pull out a t-shirt from the movie, a small bottle of champagne from the movie’s wrap, a CD and an Amp energy drink.
All if this makes perfect sense to the person getting the package.
Not so much to the other people in the post office line.
Still cannot find address.
That’s okay, I’ll call my friend and get the address.
**&$#@!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Phone is in bushes outside.
Have to get out of line.
Post office security should be more worried about me going irate than terrorists hijacking.
Get phone out of bushes and call.
She doesn’t answer the phone.
Hike back to the car.
Nearly die from the heat.
Drive home, park my car, reach over to grab the package and see the address sitting on the passenger’s side seat – it had fallen out.
Phone rings – it’s friend calling with her address.
Tell her that she’s going to have to wait until Christmas.
Was quite impressed with myself, because I’m usually not too prompt to send things out.
Still have my friend’s Christmas present sitting on my bedroom floor.
Thinking of just saving it until next Christmas.
On my way home from lunch I see the post office, think of turning over a new leaf, decide to send the package, even though it’s been sitting in my car for less than six months.
Can’t find parking.
But don’t give up, for new leaves are not always easy to turn over.
Find parking a couple of blocks away.
It’s approximately 167 degrees outside.
Walk the two blocks.
Think I may die.
Get up to the post office, must go through security checkpoint, as apparently terrorists are now plotting to hijack post offices.
Put all my stuff in the little security bin to be passed through x-ray thingy.
Am asked if I have a cell phone.
Tell truth and show security lady my cell phone.
Am told I have to take my cell phone back to my car because it has a camera on it.
As apparently terrorists are taking pictures of the post offices before they hijack them.
Am not walking back to my car, as it is 167 degrees outside.
Walk down the hallway a bit, hide phone behind a missing persons poster.
Security lady says no, that won’t do, it must go back to your car.
As cell phones can apparently take pictures even when left unattended behind posters.
Walk out the door, put the cell phone in a bush outside the door, as I am not walking back to the car.
Re-enter and put my purse through the x-ray thingy.
Security lady says nothing about the small digital camera I have in my purse.
As terrorists apparently only use low resolution pictures when scoping out hijacking possibilities.
Get in very long line.
Wait very long time.
Get towards front of line, decide to fish the address out of the box.
Cannot find the piece of paper with the address on it.
Begin totally emptying the box.
Pull out a t-shirt from the movie, a small bottle of champagne from the movie’s wrap, a CD and an Amp energy drink.
All if this makes perfect sense to the person getting the package.
Not so much to the other people in the post office line.
Still cannot find address.
That’s okay, I’ll call my friend and get the address.
**&$#@!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Phone is in bushes outside.
Have to get out of line.
Post office security should be more worried about me going irate than terrorists hijacking.
Get phone out of bushes and call.
She doesn’t answer the phone.
Hike back to the car.
Nearly die from the heat.
Drive home, park my car, reach over to grab the package and see the address sitting on the passenger’s side seat – it had fallen out.
Phone rings – it’s friend calling with her address.
Tell her that she’s going to have to wait until Christmas.
2 comments:
Dawn...
this is perhaps your funniest blog yet. It's a perfect story for a short film that I want to make. Whether you know it or not, you just wrote a hilarious 3 & 1/2 minute movie, that you can make t-shirts for, that say 167 degrees and create an energy drink based on the experience.
I LOVE THAT THEY DID NOT EVEN CARE about your CAMERA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HILARIOUS!!!
:-)
This is when it's nice to live in a small town. Available parking close to the door, and no security checkpoints. I miss Sacramento, but not going to the post office. Or walking downtown in 167 degrees.
Post a Comment